Saturday 31 October 2015

Capture Your Grief: Day 31 - Sunset

Today brings an end to the 2015 Capture Your Grief Project.  As I wrote yesterday this was a healing growing experience for me.  Thank you to everyone who followed along on Facebook, and for those who have taken the time to read here as a glimpse into our world of life after child loss. Your continued love and support is very much appreciated!

It seems fitting that we could barely see the sunset today, due to the rain storm.  While today marks the end of this project, it also marks the beginning of several dark milestone and remembrance dates for us.

October 31st last year we received the first test results that hinted something might be wrong with Elisa.  Our 1st trimester blood test results came back with a 1 in 2 chance that our baby could have down syndrome.   We spent Halloween day at the doctor's office getting more test done that would confirm for sure.  Obviously we would have loved and been grateful even if our baby had Down Syndrome, it just meant a shift in what our image of parenthood was going to be.  After a long weekend of waiting for the results, we found out she did not have Down Syndrome, it was a false positive, something that happens 5% of the time.  (We found out later, that it was likely the placental problems that caused Elisa's IUGR that triggered the false positive in this blood test).

So today marks the end of the Capture Your Grief Project, and the beginning of some of the hardest times in our lives.  Less than a month from now will mark a year from when we received the news that Elisa would likely not make it to birth.  And her first birthday is less than three months away.  In addition to this, we have the holidays, which are supposed to be joyous and exciting, but they are hard for us, as we know our two girls are always missing.

Thank you for following along these last 31 days. I hope you will come back again soon.

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