Despite being sad, one of the things I have been very passionate about with losing Elisa was that she would be treated like any other child/baby and she wouldn't be forgotten. It is strength in sharing, that I didn't have when we lost Luca, but by losing Elisa she has given me the voice to talk about both of my baby girls, something I am so proud of.
It's not that I want a bunch of attention, or people to throw me a pity party, it's that I want to talk about, and share about my babies, just like any other mom. But I cant post a picture of her first smile, or the first time she rolls over, so I talk about her anniversaries in heaven, and things that remind me of her.
So yesterday I posted on facebook: "It's been three months since we said hello and goodbye to our Elisa. It seems like we just held her yesterday and yet that day seems so distant in the past all at once. Love you baby girl"
And the outpouring of love and support was more than I could have dreamed of.
First a friend from college posted this picture!
People remembering that she is our baby beluga...
Then a few more friends piped in with messages saying they were thinking about us and praying for us. What I love is that no one said anything along the lines of "it will get better" or "the hard days are over" like I have heard so many loss mammas experience when they post about their babies in heaven. Because those types of messages don't help, and I know from losing Luca that I still have many hard days ahead of me, and most of the time I won't know when they will hit. I am just so humbled and grateful that I have a network of people who are being so compassionate and holding me up during this hard time.
I know the thing about social media, is that I can't control what responses I will get back from people, and I was aware of that when I posted yesterday. But I am so grateful that my friends just let me be a mom, a mom who wanted to post about her baby, and supported me and lifted me up and let me talk about her, without any "blockers" saying how things will get easier.
The last message on my post last night was this beautiful picture, sent from another very good friend. She left the message "I'm piggy-backing on [the first post] because why not fill your heart in this special way?? I love you!" and finished her message with "It's like she's saying, "hi momma!" from heaven."
And boy was my heart filled. Filled with love, and humbled by the support of dear friends and distant ones a like, remembering our Elisa, our Baby Beluga.
