The Capture Your Grief Project was a new thing for me this year. It was challenging, but it was fruitful.
I have tried to be very intentional throughout my grieving process, to use my grieving as a way to move toward healing, and as a way to sit with and learn who this new person is. Who I am now after our miscarriage. Who I am now after carrying our second daughter, what was supposed to be our "rainbow pregnancy" knowing she would likely not live. Who I am now knowing nothing is guaranteed.
This project helped me be even more intentional than I thought I could be. It focused my writing on topics, some of which I have been wanting to write about, like my gratitude and intentions with sharing our stories, and others that stretched me in to writing things I wanted to talk about, but didn't know how, like secondary grief.
This project also gave me the opportunity to share my blog, something I have been wanting to do for a while now, but I was scared. Scared of what people might think, how they might judge me. Self conscience about my sometimes inventive spelling, that spell check doesn't even catch :) and my less-than-perfect grammar. Uncomfortable with the thought that some might think I am being dramatic or wallowing, when really I am just doing my best to be honest and real.
Despite my fears, I am so glad this project gave me the medium, and the courage to share my blog. In a self-giving way, in honor of my girls and in hope that I can help others who are in this life-long, unwanted club of baby loss. But also in a self-caring way, in the hopes that I can help those close to us understand what Mark and I are going through, so you can know us better and in all humbleness, so we can ask for your loving support on this journey that is our life after loss.
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