The Choosing Your Breath Grief Workshop, from where this topic stems, is not something I have done yet, but one of the things that it focuses on is intentionally and actively working through grief.
This is something I have been passionate about, if you haven't noticed from my facebook posts, articles I share, or especially this blog :)
I have learned, and I know in my heart grief is not something you can hide from, avoid, or "trick" into getting around.
Although others on the outside may think I am "wallowing" in my grief, or maybe oversharing, I don't think that I am. I apologize if I make anyone uncomfortable, but to be honest, this isn't about anyone except for me, Mark, and a few close people who have climbed down into the pit of grief with us. Barring causing triggers for other giving (loss of a baby, loss of a family member, or any grief my posts my trigger) or drastically offending someone to their core, I don't really care what you think.
That is hard for me to think, and even harder for me to type and have in black and white. I am usually the person who tries to accomodated everyone, to make everyone comfortable and welcome.
But my grief has taught me to put myself first.
And one of those ways is being active, intentional, and open with my grieving process.
It doesn't help me to pretend everything is rainbows and butterflies, when I am really feeling down in the dumps. It doesn't help any of the other women who have experienced loss either. For me, masking my feelings only reinforces the world's view that grief is a linear process, something to "get over and done with"
But grief is something to be incorporated, or another way I have heard it, "grief has to be carried".
Grief exists because love existed. It can't be ignored. If you try it only comes back more powerful.
So my choice is to face it head on. To embrace it. Not to let it take me over, but to allow it help me in my healing. The only way out is through
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