4 Weeks

4 weeks...4 weeks ago my baby girl was born silently in to this world.  It feels as if months have past, while simultaneously it feels like I just held her yesterday.

I miss her so very much. I miss her smell, I miss her tiny perfect little fingers and perfect little toes.  I miss feeling her little hand wrapped around my finger, even though she never grasped back on to mine. I miss her precious little nose that looked so much like her daddy's.

I miss how we were supposed to be together right now.  I miss her kicks, her twists and turns reminding me that she was still there, that she was still fighting.

I miss what she would have become, I miss that I don't get to spend weeks with her on maternity leave. I miss that we will never go out grandmother, mom and baby with my mom. I miss that I will never see her become a daddy's girl, because I know he would have been wrapped around her little finger.

I even miss the nights we would have not slept due to bad sleeping patterns, or sickness. I miss when she would have had tantrums, or the terrible twos or ferocious fours.

I miss her and all she was and all she would have become. I miss my baby girl.